So Let That Be My Story
by ShannonMD
Summary: Ernst pays Wendla a visit when she is sick. My first Spring Awakening fic.


It had been years since Ernst had last spoken to Wendla. He hadn't neglected their friendship on purpose. The boys and the girls of the small town would rarely see each other anymore. The only time Ernst had seen Wendla was at church, and even then Wendla was glues to her mother's side. They would only exchange hellos and goodbye, but those had become customary for Ernst. A Sunday was not complete without a greeting from Wendla. So Ernst was worried when Wendla did not show up to church that Sunday. He figured that she probably had a perfectly acceptable reason, but he still felt it necessary to ask Frau Bergman why she was not present. He stood at his mother's side while she was deep in conversation with the other woman. When there was an opening in the conversation, he asked.

"Wendla is feeling a bit under the weather, Herr Robel," she answered him kindly.

Ernst furrowed his brow. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I'm sure she'll be feeling fine soon. The doctor is visiting us tomorrow. Honestly, you'd think it was the lack of companionship that was making her so sick. Minimal complaining about the nausea, but every single day it's, 'Mama, may I have some friends over, only for a few minutes?'" Frau Bergman shook her head and chuckled. "The poor thing is so lonely. None of her girlfriends' mothers want them to come over. They fear she's contagious."

"Well I'd be happy to come over and see Wendla, Frau Bergman." He turned to his mother. "Mama, may I go?"

His mother thought for a moment. "I don't see why not. But wait, Ernst, don't you have plans with Herr Rilow?"

Ernst nearly shuddered at the name. He certainly did have plans with Hanschen, but after what had transpired last Sunday, he wasn't sure if doing anything with Hanschen was a good idea. "Not until later."

"It's perfectly alright with me," said Frau Bergman. "I'm sure Wendla will be quite glad to see you."

"Alright then. You may go."

"Thank you, Mama!" Ernst kissed his mother goodbye and followed Frau Bergman out of the church and up the path toward the Bergmans' home. Once they got to the door, Frau Bergman gestured up the stairs. "I trust you remember where Wendla's room is?"

"Yes, of course." He smiled slightly at the memories he had of running up those stairs with Wendla, usually to play tea party while the other children played Pirates. He did not run up the stairs this time though. He took his time and slowly approached her door. He knocked on the door.

"Come in," a voice from inside the room said. He opened the door and smiled at Wendla. She was sitting up in her bed, wearing a lacy nightgown and reading a book of fairy tales. She looked up from her book, and her expression became a mix of surprise and delight. "Ernst! Hello!" She carefully shut her book and smiled at him.

"Hello, Wendla," he said as he returned her smile. "How are you feeling?" He noticed that her cheeks were not nearly as rosy as they usually were, that her brown eyes were not sparkling as they usually did,

"Oh, I'm still quite sick." Wendla nodded solemnly. "It's not really that bad though. I only wish that I could have some time to walk about or to see my friends." Ernst detected a hint of a sigh in her voice.

"But now you're here! I have someone other than Mama to talk to!"

"Well, what would you like to talk about?" Ernst asked. He was never much of a conversation starter; he always had the tendency to let others take the lead.

"Hmmmm…" Wendla pondered briefly. It was obvious that there was something on her mind, yet it looked as though she were pretending that whatever this thought was had just formulated. "I have a question for you." She faltered. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What's the question?"

Wendla seemed to be almost nervous about whatever she was about to ask. And if Wendla, one of the most intuitive girls of their age, was afraid to ask a question, it must have been serious. "Is it wrong to commit a sin if it truly feels like it's the right thing to do?"

Ernst's eyes widened, for this was the same question he had been asking himself for the past few days, ever since his encounter with Hanschen. What could he tell her? All of the things he had been taught in church told him that it was wrong, but was it? Whatever Wendla had done couldn't possibly be worse than what he had done. She was just so sweet, so pure. "I don't know," he finally answered.

She did not seem to be satisfied with this answer. "But…what if your heart tells you that it's right and the bible says it's wrong? Shouldn't you just listen to what your heart tells you?"

"I suppose…"

She sat up taller in her bed. "I mean how could something so wrong feel so right if it isn't right? Your heart should know what's good for you. A book can't tell you that there's anything wrong with how you feel!"

Wendla looked eagerly at Ernst, almost as if she needed him to reply. "I…." He took a deep breath. "I think you're right Wendla."

"Do you really think so?"

Did he? "Yes, I do."

Wendla smiled at him, seemingly satisfied by his answer. "Thank you, Ernst."

Ernst smiled back. A strange rush of relief overcame him. Wendla, a perfect, religious girl, did not care that the church looked down upon her desires. And at that moment, Ernst decided that he did not either.

"Herr Robel!" he heard a voice from downstairs. "Hanschen Rilow is here looking for you."

Ernst looked over at Wendla, as if he were asking for her approval. She gave him a small smile. "Go ahead. I'll be fine."

He nodded as he started to make his way to the door. "Ernst?" He turned around to face her. "It was very nice to see you again."

He walked back over to Wendla. "It was nice to see you again as well." He leaned down and laid a kiss on her forehead. She beamed at him, though her eyes were shining in a way that indicated the coming of tears.

"I'll see you again as soon as I get better!" she called after him as he once again turned to leave.

"Of course. Goodbye, Wendla."

"Goodbye!"

He made his way down the stairs to be greeted by Hanschen's ever-present smirk. "Hello, Hanschen."

"Good day, Ernst. Shall we make our way towards the vineyard?"

"Alright," he said confidently. The smugness left Hanschen's face momentarily to make way for surprise, but a moment later it was back. "Farewell, Frau Bergmann!"

"You boys have fun," the woman called after them as they strolled out the front door.

"Oh, we shall." Hanschen winked at Ernst. For once, the sinking feeling that usual took place in his stomach was replaced by butterflies.


End file.
